Thursday, November 19, 2009

The Rationing of Waffles

On Tuesday, November 17th, 2009, I posted about the Eggo waffle shortage. Wednesday I was interviewed by an AP reporter. Thursday my name is everywhere and I've been branded "a grade-A moron" by some nobody that found the news story on MSNBC's weird news of all places.

I never imagined I'd be on MSNBC for any reason. I was also joking about the rationing. That didn't quite come through in the article, but I can't blame anyone. My sense of humor is a bit dry or maybe it wasn't even funny, but I let the waffles go two by two, just like always. I eat one, she eats one.

It's funny how much these strangers can tell about me from the mere fact that I feed my daughter Eggo waffles. There is going to be some sarcasm now, so if you have trouble with your reading comprehension, you might just want to skip ahead and leave your nasty comment now. No sense making yourself feel bad that you can't understand printed words and all.

Kolee says "Stay-at-home mom Joey Resciniti needs to buy some Bisquick and a waffle iron. Sheesh. No wonder the terrorists hate us." Quite so Kolee. Terrorists hate us because I don't have a waffle iron. You know, I had a waffle iron once. Back then the terrorists didn't hate us. I threw it out because it didn't cook the middle of the waffle. They all came out with this little pale yucky spot. Just like that, the terrorists started hating America.

I'd do anything to have that waffle iron back.

Sandra who lists part of her social security number with her screen name says "Cranberry Township, Pa., is literally 15 minutes north from downtown Pittsburgh. It is mostly upper-middle class to very wealthy people that live there due to alot of high tech companies that have had much success in that area as well as close proximity to downtown Pittsburgh commuters."

Do go on Sandra, oh wait - she does: "Stay-at-home mom, Joey Resciniti's, 4-year-old daughter just loves Eggo waffles. HUH??? They taste like cardboard! Do you eat them, Princess? What's wrong with people feeding their kids this junk? Unbelievable."

First, Sandy, take a gander at Google Earth. Cranberry Twp. is literally 15 minutes north of Wexford, PA. It takes 30 minutes to get to the city. I don't know what that had to do with the insults that came after, but I just wanted to point out that I'm a "grade A moron" and I literally know where it is that I live.

My princess does eat Eggo waffles. That's why I buy them, so that I can feed them to my daughter and consequently look like a big dumb jerk on MSNBC. Wow, that was money well spent!

LU-404506 is concerned for my daughter's health. "A frozen waffle is garbage food. It gives you a clue as to the junk she feeds this kid." Here's another shocker for you. Today, I fed her Spaghetti O's. For lunch. And she ate them, just like she ate the Eggo on Tuesday. I'll give you a moment to grasp the true depth of my parenting deficiency.

And then there's Just_Frank. He's one of my favorites in addition to the punk that said my kid would be better off with a babysitter. "LOL she is going to ration Eggos, is she too lazy to make breakfast, it takes just as long to mix some water with pancake batter, stir it up, i mean come on, the hardest thing about making your pancakes is making sure the griddle is hot enough.....if this woman is a stay at home and is too lazy to heat up a griddle, makes you wonder how she keeps house."

It does make you wonder Just_Frank. Now that someone has clued me in to how easy pancake making is, I'll make it through this Eggo shortage just fine. While my daughter is with the baby sitter that will take so much better care of her than I do, I might even clean something. But no. Just. Too. Lazy.

So there you have it. Eating an Eggo says it all: lazy, incompetent, bad mother. Sounds like a new ad campaign to me.