I was wrong. "You are hitting the milk pretty hard," my husband observed.
It occurred to me that I was feeling worse than ever before. So milk is back out. Wheat is significantly reduced and fructose is to be avoided at all cost. The good news is I feel 100% better. The bad news is I have days when I still can't figure out what to feed myself. Shopping for normal people and myself is difficult. Especially when said normal people eat my gluten-free pretzels. I need a security system for my G-free pretzels.
Anyway, in the interest of enjoying dessert night with the normals, I bought this lactose-free ice cream. Everyone has different opinions on products, so don't let me dissuade you from trying it yourself when I tell you that it's terrible. This should not be called ice cream. It's like frozen cotton candy or perhaps just cold cotton balls. The texture is off. You could put the best toppings in the world on this "ice cream" and your sundae would still be an unfulfilling disaster. Not having ice cream is preferable to eating this stuff.
"Waste not, want not," being one of the guiding principles of my life, I decided to use the lactose-free "ice cream" to make strawberry milkshakes. It was a risky decision. Would the fakey ice cream texture ruin a milkshake?
Recipe
One pint of strawberries, rinsed, hulled & sliced
One teaspoon vanilla extract
Two heaping teaspoons of Splenda
One pint of lactose-free ice cream
3/4 cup skim milk*
Toss the strawberry slices in a bowl with the Splenda and Vanilla. Combine in a blender with ice cream and milk. Puree or frappe until smooth. Makes two milkshakes.
*substitute lactose-free milk to make this shake completely lactose-free
The result was a delicious summer treat that didn't leave me feeling sick. Both FODMAP tolerant individuals declared it a success and though the strawberries did taste a little artificial, I know they weren't. I liked it. I really liked it. So the lactose-free ice cream is good for something after all. I'll just have grind all of my sundaes into milkshakes.