Thursday, June 19, 2014

Low-FODMAP Fun Dip

I've had tummy issues since I was about sixteen years old. Most recently, my overactive abdomen could drown out all but the most animated conversations. Embarrassing and capable of waking me from a dead sleep, my stomach was out of control. I decided something needed to change.

The FODMAP elimination diet completely cured my washing machine churning digestive symptoms, but I couldn't maintain my weight while eating nothing but rice, corn, meat and small amounts of fruit. The book says to include "as varied of a diet as your body can tolerate." So I added food groups and attempted to find some mix that could sustain my life. It's not easy. I was just about to consult a dietician when things straightened out. Thinking lactose wasn't a trigger, I had gone on a milk bender. So by "things straightened out," I mean that I cut out lactose again. I feel better. I have to be constantly vigilant, eating as little wheat, fructose, and lactose as possible every day.

But these aren't allergies, so I still participate in the occasional Donut Connection binge. The three days of feeling miserable that follow donut weekend help reinforce the need for the diet in my mind.

So most of the time, I'm very good. Gluten-free bread, buns and pretzels. No tomato paste. No real ice cream. Straight and narrow. Especially at breakfast.

I don't enjoy breakfast, so I've determined that I really shouldn't consume any FODMAPs at that meal. I've invented this:

A dry bowl of Rice Krispies® cereal with a banana dipper. Tim calls this my special "fun dip." Usually, I slice the banana and coat each hunk in Rice Krispies. Mid-morning I have to have a Hobbit's second breakfast protein bar lest I should ingest my own liver by lunchtime. But it's quick and if I do say so: delicious.

And so fun!

Cooking, however, has become less fun. Last night, I made pasta for the family. I had to separate a bowl of gluten-free fusilli to cover in butter because red sauce just isn't working for me at all anymore. The joy has just gone right out of the kitchen. The grilled portabella mushrooms I made for a special Father's Day dinner left me with such severe cramping I dreamed of giving birth all night. And it was more painful than the real deal.

So perhaps my career as a 1/2 food blogger isn't going to work out. I'm going to suspend my recipe posts for a while. Really, I shouldn't share meals that I've not eaten personally. Perhaps while my digestive system straightens out we can all at least look at beautiful food on some of my favorite blogs: The Brown-Eyed Baker, How Sweet It Is, and Bakerella. As far as I can tell, Internet picture food has no FODMAPs. Plus I can read what it's like for other people to eat food. It's good, they say.